My life is not belong to myself anymore, i got to share and divided all my life component for my family , friends, and the people i love. From the side of perception, know how to advise, concern, kind, responsible to family, and bla bla bla...is very good moral values. people who did all this will get the reputation as a very good man, but in my case there is totally different. I did all that for my family, even i sacrifice all my freedom and all my self respect as a guy, but i still cant fulfill their needs. Somehow the result i get is the worst things ever, i really don know how to define myself anymore. Some people said i'm good, my sister never agree with that statement, the question keep on surrounding me. ""HOW CAN I BE PERFECT???? ""WHAT I SHOULD DO TO BECOME PERFECT??? when i cant get the answer for this 2 question, the new question will come out. ""AM I THE MOST USELESS GITT IN THIS WORLD?? this question i got the answer, and the result is YES I AM,
i tried to make my family happy but i failed, i promise i will never break my promises to the person that i first time fall in love but i failed, i tried to protect and take care of the sister that i cared the most but because of my lackey i failed, THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS HAPPENED MAKE ME REALLY CANT DENY MYSELF IS THE PERSON THAT SHOULD NEVER BORN IN THIS WORLD. If possible i really want to leave this world now, but for the last promise that i make for my beloved sister, i got to stay alive and take care for my mum until the end of her life.
So, my life is not belong to myself anymore, WHERE TO FIND MYSELF I ALSO DON KNOW, SO HOPEFULLY I CAN FIND MYSELF THROUGH THIS BLOG AND LIVE HAPPILY IN MY OWN WORLD OF DARKNESS.
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